Tuesday, 22 September 2015

Rats and sats

It was parents evening tonight.

I have mixed feelings about parents evenings, on one hand I like them as I get to hear about how well the children are doing, on the other I am a bit of a loose cannon.

I was listening to my eldest's teacher talking about the focus on the SATS exams and my brain decided it had to voice an opinion. Now in my mind I was constructing a critique to show my dislike for the SATS.......instead I reclined back into my seat and this came out.

Me: "well I have to let you know that I don't give a rat's ass about the SATS"


I had a smile on my face as I delivered my well constructed opinion, I felt like the whole corridor had gone quiet, a flock of birds had been disturbed and everyone in the school stopped moving.

After a few seconds of awkward silence the teacher spoke, my husband had a confused look on his face.

After a pause I clarified that I wouldn't be putting any pressure on my eldest for government statistics. The teacher seemed to have a similar opinion thankfully. 

But why on earth did I say "a rat's ass"?????

I could have said, I don't believe in putting 10/11 year olds under pressure, 
I could have said, it's ok we aren't too worried, 

oh no......that's right.....I don't give a rat's ass.


I mentioned that I might not be around after school as much as I'm back to uni next week.

I don't think she gave a rat's ass. :) 

Friday, 11 September 2015


Woah, what a week!

The first full school week back has not disappointed in throwing us all back into our busy timetable, I feel like I sit down at the same time of day, look at the clock and I've only got twenty minutes until it's school pick up time.

My eldest is in year six now and changing so much, she's just been made Head Girl!! But today whilst waiting to watch her receive her headteacher's award I was given my middle daughter's first educational psychology report. I had been very anxious about this whole process, it reminded me of waiting for her diagnoses to confirm her deafness, I was so worried about the change it would bring to her life, but my fears were not needed she took it all in her stride. She is an amazing little girl and I know with the extra help she will now receive she will continue to be the ray of sunshine to everyone she meets.

Change is also on the cards for my parents as they are separating, hopefully they will find happiness.

Things are certainly changing, but change is good, sometimes a bit of pruning is done in our lives to make us stronger, we don't always control the secateurs that do the snipping, but soon a new flower will grow, and eventually we will grow even more than before the pruning. 

Have a great weekend all. 

Saturday, 5 September 2015

Save Syria's Children

I've spent the week in a mixture of complete sadness and furious anger over the refugee crisis.

Many people don't agree with my views and that's ok, but for those who do and feel like we should be doing more to help, this post is for you.

The parent blogging community have come together to support the Save the Children Crisis appeal and we are asking people to donate £5 by texting the word SYRIA to 70008.

The whole message is a strong one, just like the image of the little boy on the beach. I've cried and prayed for him and the rest of the refugees, I'm sending clothes to Greece to help refugees over there, and if raising more awareness and money can be done then I'm all for it.

I look at my children, and my throat closes with grief thinking about if that was us fleeing from war. I feel sick to my stomach that children all around the world face hardships that we could only imagine.

Please don’t turn a blind eye.
Do Something to help.
#SaveSyriasChildren To donate £5 please text SYRIA to 70008

Wednesday, 26 August 2015

School holiday lessons

The children are back to school next week, it has come round quite quickly but they are looking forward to starting their new school year.

I could continue this post with gushing descriptions of all the fun we've had through the holiday but I'm not, I'm going to look at what I've learnt over these past five weeks as a parent. So sit back, grab a cuppa and well......try to stay awake.

1) It doesn't matter how well you try to plan the time during the holidays, it pretty much just is a random arrangement of events that you have no control over.....at all.

2) Don't even bother doing the back to school shoe shop, it's always busy, it's always stressful, get your kids feet measured and buy them online.

3) The weather is your best friend, sunny, you avoid soft play hell, rainy you can avoid going out at all.

4) Pancakes are the best emergency breakfast when you have absolutely no food in the house.

5) Collect loose change in a pot for emergency corner shop essentials, (wine)

6) Never underestimate the sound of silence when it comes to children, especially when it involves felt tip pens. 

7) Flushing the toilet before you use it is a necessity.

8) I will always be a working mother.

9)  Regarding the above point, I read the following quote in an article about working mums "working doesn't make you a bad mother, mothering doesn't make you a bad worker"

10) Church is great, more than great, I love it.

11) Sometimes you just have to buy the sweets, it's worth the smiles and you get to be mum of the year for an hour.

12) Same above applies for, ice-cream, small rubbish toys, chocolate, a drink that has a character on it, a gingerbread man that isn't broken and ice lollies even when it's not sunny.

13) Sitting on the sofa that only has room for two and actually there is you and five children all smushed together is actually awesome.

14) Dancing around the kitchen en mass is exercise and also hilarious.

15) Farts get funnier the older the children get.

16) "Love you Mummy" deletes all craziness that has ensued through the day.

17) I still love Pokemon.

What have you learnt this summer holiday? 

Wednesday, 19 August 2015

Lego Ninjago Airjitzu at Legoland Discovery Centre

We were invited to unearth our inner ninja with the New Lego Ninjago Airjitzu at Legoland Discovery Centre, Barton Square, Trafford centre.

We're massive fans of Lego here in our house, from duplo to building the fun Lego sets, especially from the Lego movie, so the children were really excited it go and learn the art of Airjitzu!!!

Until 31st August, families and children can enjoy building their own Ninjago mask, take part in a laser maze challenge and practice their ninja accuracy skills at the flyer academy.

And if that is not enough, other fun activities taking place include hands-on creative build challenges, mini figure trading and for those looking for an even tougher test of their skills, master model builders will be holding building classes for some truly spectacular constructions.

We had a fabulous time running around, spinning off the Airjitzus as high as we could get them!!!!
The children absolutely loved learning to fly their Airjitzus!

We met the star of Ninjago Kai !!!!

Practising some air ninja moves!!!!!

All worn out after a great day!!!!

Pop down to the Legoland discovery centre before the end of August to have some great family Lego building fun, maybe pop into the sea life centre afterwards! We did and the children had a whale of a time!! (Sorry I can't resist a good pun)

Hope you all have an enjoyable last few weeks of the school holidays!!!

Tuesday, 4 August 2015

On the outside looking in

I've always felt like my view of social situations involved me standing on tiptoes trying to look over a tall fence, my eyes just about peering over, my hands holding me up but eventually giving in and I drop behind the fence.

I never was one of the popular kids, I was bullied for being fat, I didn't feel comfortable in large groups of friends. Ironically my favourite TV show was Friends, I always wished that I could have experienced what it was like to have that close friendship unit.

Now even as an adult friendship still causes me anxiety, I just want to be positive and cheerful but I still have the ability to annoy people to the point of where I can feel their disapproval.

I can assure you though, this isn't a "woe is me" post, I'm certainly not perfect, I've made mistakes, big mistakes, but I'd like a break from wading through the social mud, dodging the cliques, sidestepping the invisible boundaries, and just enjoy the company of others.

I often think about having a party for my 30th birthday in October but I wouldn't fill a room, so as always I turn to my online friends, some who I have known since I started this blog, the people who are there at the touch of a tweet, those who when I felt this way the other day were fabulous and made me realise that you can find your own path and that its ok to be a loner.

So to anyone reading this feeling like you are always an outsider, don't worry, there are lots of us who feel this way and in fact there are some great people in this club, and you know what? Balls to those who aren't interested in you, you're amazing and individual and if those around you can't see it, look elsewhere, widen your circle, go online, go to a different group, stretch your legs.

I'll always be on my tiptoes looking over that fence at others, but on my side of the fence, the sun is shining, the sea is blue, the wind is in my hair and I'm not alone, I'm just me.

Friday, 31 July 2015


"Is it time for tea yet mummy?"
"Soon, not long, you just have to be patient"

This is a frequent discussion in my house, the children are always wanting to know what's next, what time is the next meal, what are we doing tonight, what are we doing in the morning, how about tomorrow.......... You get the picture.

I often find myself sighing and wondering when they will actually learn to wait and then it hit me, even as an adult I do exactly the same things!!!!

"I've been waiting for ages to get an answer"
"Why won't they pick the phone I've tried so many times!"
"I can't believe I'm stuck in this traffic again"
"Will this queue ever move!!!"
"All I want is a coffee, just hurry up"

The list is endless!!!!!!

Recently I've decided that I will try to ignore my inner narrative that shouts at me to do things faster, quicker, imminently, but this does not mean I have become lazy, just that I've stopped the hamster wheel from constantly spinning in my brain.

Surprisingly it's been great, I feel much happier, less anxious, less stressed, in fact I feel like I've got even more time to do things since I've stopped wasting time fretting.

I'm hoping I can keep it up when I start my final year of uni in September, when I'm juggling placements, deadlines and a dissertation.

Sometimes it is great to retreat to somewhere peaceful, especially if that place is inside your mind already.

Thursday, 16 July 2015

Hear me out

I have always found talking about my children's imperfections difficult, I hold my hands up, my children are perfect to me as silly as that may sound to you. 

My middle daughter, is deaf, she wasn't diagnosed until she was three years old after a lot of worrying and nagging by myself. She started nursery only being able to say "mummy".

I sat there and sobbed internally when I was told that she wasn't talking because I had too many other children to pay her enough attention, I kept my face neutral as the health visitor told me I had to do more to help her talk, to help her keep her concentration. I wrung my fingers as the nursery teacher told me that they couldn't communicate with her and they didn't know what else to do. 

I stayed calm, I kept reassuring everyone that I would help to sort all of this out.

When she was diagnosed as having sensorineural deafness in both ears, I should have been devastated, but I was so relieved that finally people would listen to my daughter, to realise she had needs, she needed extra help, she needed extra patience.

I've dealt with the feelings of grief, the feelings of guilt that I wasn't a good enough to mother, but again we are approaching another uncertain time in her health, something that myself and all her other support network have been worried about that we have to address soon.

I sat here this morning sobbing with worry, with guilt, with the betrayal I feel every time I start to vocalise my worries about possible learning difficulties. Even writing that sentence makes me angry with myself, my brain yells; there is nothing wrong with her, she is perfect!!!!!!! How could you say that about her, how could you sit there and tell the world that there is anything wrong!!!!!

I am filled with pain this morning.

This morning my youngest daughter cried her heart out because her favourite shoes had fallen apart with wear, I hugged her until she stopped sobbing and she went off to school in her pumps.

How can I relieve the sadness in the eyes of my middle daughter when she is struggling to understand, when she is upset and frustrated, I feel useless, just a person who reports her faults to healthcare providers just so she can get extra help at school.

I still find it so difficult to talk about it without crying, parents evenings, doctors appointments, you name it I'm there falling to pieces, but my daughter, she's the one with the happy face with the skip in her step, always so loud and laughing.

She is perfect exactly the way she is.